Pretty Kitty Pages

From the August issue of Pin Curl Magazine

Dear Lillith,

With my husband’s blessing, I have been dancing Burlesque for just over three years.  We have two wonderful boys together, ages 11 and 8.A couple years ago I finally came out of the Burlesque closet to my mom, who, of course, wasn’t too pleased about the whole situation.  Her concern is how my lifestyle will reflect her (which I’ve explained to her my performance lifestyle has nothing to do with her) and – and here is what my question centers around – my kids.

My children are very brilliant, and figure things out.  My oldest son is going to be in middle school this upcoming year, and he accesses the internet fairly frequently during the school year.  After I told my mom about my Burlesque lifestyle, she brought up the kids, in particular my oldest son. ”What about when your boys find out?  What are you going to tell them?”  Her concern comes from the fact that I strip my clothes off as a performer.  So the question has plagues me – what DO I tell my boys about me performing Burlesque?  When should I talk to them about it?  And how do I bring it up, or should I let them bring it up?

Up until this point all they know is “Mom has a show to do.”  I don’t talk about my Burlesque side in front of them, and they have never seen a video of any of my performances.  I’ve rehearsed with them at home in full clothes only, and they have seen me making costumes and accessories.  The only dance style they have seen me do away from my home is Belly Dance.

My goal is for them to see Burlesque as an art form, but again I don’t even know how to begin to explain this to them.  When they are of age I want them to go see Burlesque shows, and if they are comfortable with it, be a part of the Burlesque community.

Your help and advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Miss Chevious

Dear Miss Chevious

Let me first assure you that you are not alone –many parents struggle with how to teach their kids sex- and body-positivity in an age-appropriate and healthy way. It is no easy feat, especially in a culture that tends to shame and silence children when it comes to matters of the body. My hope in this brief response is to give you both some practical tips for sex-positive childrearing as well as a Continue reading →

From the March issue of Pin Curl Magazine

Dear Lillith,

I am approaching my one year anniversary as a burlesque performer and I find myself conflicted about whether or not I should continue. I could really use your advice.

Burlesque has been an amazing addition to my life. For the first time I feel creative, talented, and funny. The community that I perform in is filled with amazingly beautiful, fun and supportive people. The scene and the opportunities compares to no other in my life.

That said I am also in school working towards my Masters in Social Work. I am in love with the program, the learning, and the profession. It truly speaks to my professional, spiritual and emotional center and I am grateful to be in the program and to have found my calling. I hope to move on to getting a masters in public health and one day run a holistic clinic that meets both the mental and physical needs of under-served populations.

I am realizing, with the not so desired help from my family, that the two worlds are ever more in conflict with one another. As a result I have stopped having my photograph taken and do my best to keep my burlesque identity separate from my professional one.

Can you help out line the honest risks I face if I continue to perform. Some people in my life tell me the risks are possible yet unlikely, and others believe that I am throwing my career down the drain if it “ever gets out.” I hate that burlesque has to be this dark secret, and I respect your ability to be honest and open about it.

Thank you for your advice.

All the best to you,

Miss Twin Peaks

Dear Miss Peaks

Wow, I’m not sure your letter could have hit any closer to home for me! Having gone through a similar struggle, I was really moved by your story. The fact that you are even thinking about these things is really important – it tells me that you are using professional judgment and being very thoughtful about how you approach your career, and that speaks volumes about how you will function as a clinician.

I think your first task is to try to figure out Continue reading →

From the February issue of Pin Curl Magazine

Dear Lillith:

A close friend and I perform together at a lot of small burlesque and variety shows. We started burlesque together and have worked together ever since, but lately we are butting heads. I really love performing with her but I am worried that our friendship is suffering because we work together. What can I do to make sure both our friendship and performances are strong?

-          Torn in Texas

Dear Torn in Texas:

The blending of personal and professional roles can be really difficult, but it seems like you are committed to working it out, which is a great start. This issue impacts a lot of performers and producers – since we are such a small community Continue reading →